Birthdays, Resolutions, Roller Coasters, & Hover Boards.

Today is my birthday! Sometimes people feel sorry for me that my birthday is so close to Christmas and New Years. I've never had a problem with it - my family didn't cheat me out of gifts, my husband always makes a big deal out of separating all the celebrations, and I've never had to go to school or work on my birthday. Not once!

My 30th Birthday. I can't reveal exactly what happened, but suffice
it to say fish were scooped out of the pond and kissed. By multiple people.
Though it is true that I have a harder time convincing people to rage with me on my birthday, since it's the night before New Years Eve (It's harder, but not impossible. Not with my wonderful friends. Photographic evidence of this to the left.)

My favorite thing about having a late December birthday is I can compartmentalize all my New Year Resolutions and Birthday Resolutions and Re-prioritizing and Reorganizing and Reevaluating into one basket. It's the BEST. I get myself all situated for the coming year - both from a calendar perspective and a personal perspective - at the same time.

I'm feeling very happy and grateful this birthday. Last year at this time I was not in such a good place. We  had been trying to get pregnant for over nine months, to no avail. My best friend and I got in a fight because she was pregnant and I wasn't (I was being insensitive and she was, of course, hormonal). My sister was pregnant with her second child, which was thrilling, but also made both of us feel bad because she knew how much I wanted the same (and then we both felt bad for feeling bad...and on and on). My husband was jobless, which stressed us both out. And I was frustrated with my job, but I didn't feel like I had any options since I was the sole breadwinner at that time. 

For the first time in my 31 years, I was faced with some serious adult problems that I couldn't just "work super hard" to get out of (which had been my mode of operation before). I had to be patient, I had to be calm, and I had to be proactive and positive about the future. At the time, I wrote a lot about the importance of honesty, of de-stressing, of doing what is best for me (physically and emotionally). I did a lot of soul searching and a lot of slapping myself Cher-Moonstruck-style to say, "Snap out of it! You are healthy, your family is healthy, you make plenty of money, you live in a country that respects your rights as a woman (for the most part), and you are married to the love of your life." A lot of pleading with myself to remember that I am very very lucky, even if I was going through a pretty shit time.

My mom always says - this too shall pass.

No, that is not a basketball under my shirt.
It's a beach ball. I'm on the beach, you guys. Duh.
Anyway, I'm so happy to say that one year later, as I turn 32, I feel so much better about everything. I waded through a crummy time to get to the happiest place I've ever been. I'm six and a half months pregnant with the sweetest little boy in the world. Brandon has a job that he loves and pays him well. My job is so much calmer than it was a year ago, and I'm looking forward to leaving it for a while to take care of this nugget. My sister and my best friend both gave birth to beautiful (and healthy!) baby girls. Brandon and I may have lost both our grandmothers this year, but the rest of our family is happy and healthy.

Surely I will hit another bump in the road in the coming years. Surely there will come a time I feel as down and out as I did last year, or perhaps even worse. But it feels pretty wonderful to have made it through my first serious adult crisis period and realize that my mom was right (as always) - it does, in fact, pass. It really does.

Insert appropriate rise and fall of life poetry and/or roller coaster analogy here.

As for 2015 and my next year on Earth, here are my resolutions/goals/pronouncements:

  1. To be a good mother...but to avoid trying to be the perfect mother. I will only drive myself bananas.
  2. To continue to make time for myself, despite the fact the most glorious time suck that ever was is about to enter my life. 
  3. To make time for Brandon and me. To make sure we focus on our relationship, even though we will each be very busy with a new relationship.
  4. To submit essays to magazines.
  5. To be open to my career path changing, if I decide that's what I want post baby. 
What are your resolutions? What your big plans for 2015?

If you are in the Best Place You've Ever Been, I hope this wonderful time in your life continues throughout the year! But if you are in the Shittiest Place Ever And You Want To Drown Yourself In Cheap Zinfandel, just remember - this too shall pass. And hopefully it will pass in 2015! After all, it's the year of the hover board!

Either way, let there be rainbows and sunshine and flowers and happiness and growth and positive change that propels you forward into 2015, the Best Year Yet. 

Here we go!